There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
