Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
