Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
