i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
