please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!