miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.