Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?

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  (646): Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"? http://tfl.nu/cjp8
  Replies (7) Good night (1123) Bad night (536)
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  (646): View more from New York

  You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.

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  (646): You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine. http://tfl.nu/zb6r
  Replies (18) Good night (1604) Bad night (3347)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.

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  (757): It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/luie
  Replies (23) Good night (1678) Bad night (4312)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight

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  (862): win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight http://tfl.nu/0j1g
  Replies (22) Good night (3716) Bad night (1478)
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  (530): View more from California

  Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(

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  (530): Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :( http://tfl.nu/eg10
  Replies (18) Good night (890) Bad night (7186)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (2025) Bad night (783)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.

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  (517): btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener. http://tfl.nu/k1i6
  Replies (5) Good night (1967) Bad night (749)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (3143) Bad night (1161)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.

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  (571): I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone. http://tfl.nu/igvc
  Replies (9) Good night (1180) Bad night (755)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.

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  (614): I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together. http://tfl.nu/yozh
  Replies (6) Good night (1140) Bad night (766)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear

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  (215): I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear http://tfl.nu/l6yx
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (670)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found

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  (803): we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found http://tfl.nu/ms3o
  Replies (5) Good night (308) Bad night (1023)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car

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  (727): You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car http://tfl.nu/u1q1
  Replies (1) Good night (685) Bad night (250)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...

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  (203): Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding... http://tfl.nu/mtt2
  Replies (3) Good night (727) Bad night (312)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.

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  (646): Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs. http://tfl.nu/sbu3
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (214)

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