i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
