Texts From Last Night

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  (786): View more from Florida

  Thats something to write home to mom about

  (305): View more from Florida

  Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her

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  (786): Thats something to write home to mom about (305): Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her http://tfl.nu/y6ih
  Replies (17) Good night (1744) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?

  (818): View more from California

  No. He thinks you're slutty.

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  (858): sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat? (818): No. He thinks you're slutty. http://tfl.nu/f63c
  Replies (37) Good night (1540) Bad night (4325)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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  (440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs
  Replies (33) Good night (6729) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

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  (206): you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing." http://tfl.nu/7ght
  Replies (16) Good night (5707) Bad night (980)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

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  (608): She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom http://tfl.nu/qu7d
  Replies (17) Good night (1038) Bad night (3693)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

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  (410): new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle. http://tfl.nu/lcrv
  Replies (30) Good night (8259) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1147) Bad night (6516)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR

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  (925): DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR http://tfl.nu/ynfk
  Replies (42) Good night (11166) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got

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  (619): I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got http://tfl.nu/io78
  Replies (20) Good night (1303) Bad night (4119)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time

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  (714): It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time http://tfl.nu/v4kt
  Replies (32) Good night (1788) Bad night (5121)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

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  (412): Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over http://tfl.nu/fq6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (3392)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"

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  (720): You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!" http://tfl.nu/9zop
  Replies (10) Good night (2373) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.

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  (508): It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law. http://tfl.nu/9zdw
  Replies (8) Good night (1181) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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  (904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone

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  (631): So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone http://tfl.nu/jbdz
  Replies (1) Good night (481) Bad night (359)

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