who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly