dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
