Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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