He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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