The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you win again, gameday.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
