HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
