If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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