I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
