More tranny stories later!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
