Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This is my gift to your gina
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
