She said her name was "party"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
that may or may not have been my penis.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
