a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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