is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
