i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
