So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
