Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
