would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
