somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Your dad touched me again.
one might say we're banned from that church
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Randomize
