hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
