I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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