Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
