So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Randomize
