just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
