ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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