i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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