your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What a fucking waste of an outfit
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
