Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
