is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
