I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
