Everything about him screamed your future.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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