Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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