id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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