No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
