Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
