Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
