This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Success! We fucked roommates!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
