Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize