If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
