All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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