saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
