fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
