You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
