i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
