I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if only i could text you this smell
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I got inside last night via doggy door
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
