In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
