Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Found your dick twin last night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
