I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
