The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
