Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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