Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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