After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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