You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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