I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
