so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
this is an emotional support booty call
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
