Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Alive.
So much puke
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
