Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize