Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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